Amantium irae
by Jaya
Summary: Sequel to You Look So Fine, Zhane ponders,life, the past and Astronema


Title: Amantium irae  
  
Author: Jaya  
  
Distribution: ask and I will let you...maybe  
  
Rating: G  
  
Disclaimer: Astronema, Zhane, and anyone else I've mentioned does not belong to me.   
  
Feedback: is the foundation of my universe. At: jacey111@yahoo.com  
  
Summary: Zhane ponders life, the past and Astronema.  
  
Note: This is set before Astronema becomes Karone the first time, and before Zhane stays on KO-35  
  
*****************  
AMANTIUM IRAE  
*****************  
  
Hi, we haven't spoken in a while, and we didn't part on the best of terms.  
  
But I don't mind, do you?   
  
Someone tell me why  
I do the things  
That I don't want to do?  
  
And now we know who each of us are. In the left corner, Zhane Silver Astro Ranger; In the right corner, Astronema Princess of  
Evil.   
  
Titles, good aren't they. Take them away and everyone is an equal.  
  
I have no idea how you make me feel the way I did, do.   
  
And I still don't.  
  
At least I didn't until you ripped out my heart and stomped on it, before giving it back.  
  
Thanks for that, I really appreciated it.  
  
When you're around me  
I'm somebody else  
  
If you could see me now, I'm a different guy. Like a machine, I get up, eat, fight YOUR monsters, sleep and occasionally   
interact with the other Rangers.  
  
No doubt they're worried.  
  
Teammates, they always seem to worry at the most inconvenient of times.  
  
Don't you just love them?  
  
No, you don't have teammates do you?  
  
Someone tell me why  
I act like a fool  
When things don't go my way  
  
I am such a fool. You probably wouldn't ever believe this but, I fell for you that day. Hard. I thought I was going to be   
late for our date so I deserted my team when it looked like they'd win.  
  
Only to be chewed out by you for being late, after fighting what I thought was YOUR monster.  
  
Strike one.  
  
Maybe I should have never saved you, it would make my life that much easier to know that you aren't running around the   
Galaxy, causing problems.  
  
But then I'd have an incredibly guilty conscience.  
  
As if YOU would know about anything like that.   
  
How does it feel to know you ruin millions of peoples lives every day.  
  
How does it feel to know you're ruining mine.  
  
And you're around me  
I'm somebody else  
  
When I'm with the others, a mask falls into place. A happy go lucky guy appears, and none of them ever manage to penetrate   
the barriers.  
  
Not even Andros, my so-called best friend. They never try to see behind my mask.  
  
They don't even know I have one.  
  
There is good reason I guess  
Having it once gone too far  
  
I remember being hurt once, a long time ago. Even before Andros joined the team. I was nine when I was selected to be the   
Silver Astro. I was ecstatic.  
  
Then when I was twelve it happened. Suddenly it wasn't fun anymore, it was too real for a pre-adolescent to handle.  
  
The next youngest on the team. A fourteen year old. Had been captured.  
  
Timi never stood a chance. Your masters men found him, executed him as an "example". He was FOURTEEN for crying out loud. A   
mere child, older than I granted, but he always seemed younger in so many ways.   
  
When you clean out the hive  
Does it make you want to cry  
  
We lost three more Rangers before Andros joined the team. That brought our group down to three. Kin tried to stop me from   
closing up, but it was becoming too late, she was the Black Ranger at that time, for another eight months after Andros   
joined.  
  
Andros and I were visiting our parents on KO-35 when I saw the first of the news-vids. Kinshiro Eagle, Black Astro Ranger   
had been captured.   
  
Executed.  
  
I was devastated, once again I had turned my back on the team, and something bad had happened as a result.   
  
Strike two.  
  
I then vowed I would NEVER lose another team mate.  
  
Then came the fall of KO-35. I was fighting Dark Specters minions when I saw Andros about to take a shot from behind.   
  
So I saved him by taking it myself.  
  
He was devastated.  
  
Strike three.  
  
I'm out.  
  
Are you still being followed   
By the Teenage FBI  
  
So, now you can see, I don't want to be hurt, but I'll pretend to be invincible.   
  
I'd rather be indifferent, than injured emotionally thank you so very much. Against my own best interests I opened myself to   
ridicule from you, and that is all I got.  
  
I've dated two girls in the past four years, hey ever, and this is what it got me?  
  
You were one, a girl from Eltar was another.   
  
Like you, she used and abused me.  
  
Someone tell me why  
  
Stuff emotions, if you ever want me back you're going to have to come find me.  
  
The real me.  
  
The me that has been bottled up inside my shields for the last four years.  
  
So, when you grow up a bit more, and feel ready for a real relationship, look me up.  
  
And tell me why.  
  
*************************************************************************************************************************  
Look, LOOK!! It's the sequel to You Look So Fine!! Coming soon is the next bit in this series. Probably Ashley or Cassie,   
if you really want one of these to come first, email me with your preference. Okay, feedback to me. Or chocolate or anything  
else.  
Jaya  



End file.
